O.R. UPDATE

According to the plastic surgeon they were able to accomplish what they went in to do. Both areas worked on did not have any evidence of infection - that was a huge plus. Ken had to be given blood but in part because he was already on the low side. He was in quite a bit of pain upon returning to the room and I have a feeling he may be for several days. A lot was moved and shifted inside. In the larger picture I really believe this will be a definite boost to his continued healing. Just the stabilizing of the sternum will be a big relief. We had already talked several times about how he felt when he was rolled from side to side and brought to an almost sitting position. Ken said it was as if everything was popping and coming loose - very unnerving for him. The surgeon made the comment today that Ken was not healing very fast from what he saw. I truly hope this is the only day of surprises this week - they wear me out more than working in the yard all day. Good night and have a Great Tuesday!!!

BACK IN O.R.

As I have said and said and said.........Things can change before you even turn around. The plastic surgeon examined the opened chest area this morning and it was decided to go ahead and take care of it in the O.R. There were some cancellations in surgery that opened up a room so all systems were go. The plan as I KNOW IT NOW is cleaning out, making sure no infection is present, stabilizing the area with a metal plate or muscle flap and closing it up. They are also going to look at the area in his groin to see what shape it is in and the best course of action to get it closed as well. Should be about a two to three hour procedure. I will update later.

HOW MANY TICKETS FOR THE FERRIS-WHEEL

I had several people ask if everything was okay - it's been several days since I updated and they were worried. I know you must get tired of reading "I can't believe it is.....(date)", but here it goes again; April 26th - YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!! We have now past the two month mark since the transplant. Ken has made a lot of progress, but "our tour in Baltimore" still has some time left. When I stop and think about Ken's progress; he has not had his feet on the floor, sat up on the edge of the bed, lifted his arms or legs on his own, been able to eat, drink or write, and he has not been able to talk without the use of a speaking valve. However; the fact that he is lying in his bed awake, able to communicate and still has a sense of humor is a MIRACLE.

I got tickled yesterday when one of the transplant nurses said we were off the roller coaster and had now moved onto the merry-go-round. I told her I was ready for the SLIDE - right back to Franklin.

It has been a good week in spite of its ups and downs. Ken's blood pressure continues to be an issue at times, but thankfully at this moment he is off all IVs to keep it up. The nurses have been able to remove fluid most of the week even though it remains such a numbers game when fluid is continually added through IVs. Last weekend and the first few days of this week, there seemed to be the possibility of another infection brewing. All the cultures came back negative so there was a little uncertainty regarding some of the signs he was displaying. The tube feedings were restarted and it appeared by looking at the contents in the drainage tubes the result of the thoracic duct surgery was still in question. The contents still look suspect but the feedings continue and there does not seem to be concern. In the bottom part of his chest incision an area opened up earlier this week, leaving a hole that was sucking in air. According to the report I got, the plastic surgeon would take Ken to the O.R. this next week and close it up. This morning the area became larger and it was uncertain if he would go to surgery sooner. The surgeon instead placed a wound vac with the hope fluid will be suctioned out and the area will be allowed to heal from the inside out. Upon arriving at the hospital yesterday his nurse informed me, outside of Ken's room, the latest chest x-ray showed he had a collapsed lung. It did cause some difficulty the first time they put him on the trach collar but he has been able to tolerate a few short periods of time since.

There have been times this week I asked God how much longer. I walked out of Ken's room and saw, in the bed next door, a man who has been there since November. I also felt sorry for myself this week, wondering how many more things could go wrong. Mr. Burroughs came to my mind and the realization hit - I still have the opportunity to return to Tennessee with Ken and celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary. Looks like God provided that ferris-wheel ride, because He loves me, so I could get a better perspective on things.

I was reminded by a friend tonight that we do not always need a list to pray from because God knows what is needed already. Then I read, "But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently. And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:25-28

Thank you for faithfully continuing to pray and support us. I pray you have a blessed Sunday with your loved ones.

NEVER RELY ON LAST NIGHTS FORCAST

I sometimes wonder how in one day a person can have so many different emotions. Yesterday I decided you can compare it with the weather. Have you ever heard the saying, 'if you don't like the weather just wait fifteen minutes'? The summer after Ken 's heart attack he rode his Harley to Texas. He did not plan to ride it back to Tennessee, so the kids and I drove out several days later, pulling a trailer. We met up with him in Abilene for the first family reunion. When it was time to head out for Lubbock, about 145 miles away with wide open space, Ken talked me into riding with him on the bike. Josh drove and pulled the trailer so he and Hannah headed on out. At the time I crawled on the back of the bike, the temperature was 103 degrees. As we moved on down the road we ran into a rain storm. So now I am wet and not quite as hot; however, before we reached Lubbock we hit a dirt storm. The wind was blowing so hard it was all Ken could do to keep the bike up. When we arrived at our final destination I was COLD, WET, and GRITTY. Ken considered it all part of a great adventure. Let's just say, I am what you would call a 'Fair Weather Rider'.

There are times I feel like I'm living in the middle of a weather forecast. Today will be sunny and bright out - or a least that's what it was when I went to bed the night before. BUT, when I walk in the hospital I find I'm not dressed right - it's partly sunny with intermittent showers. Friday, Ken had experienced some progress and things were looking up so I went to bed thinking that Saturday was going to hold even more progress. When I got to Ken's room I ran smack dab into a huge rain cloud. My heart was so heavy. (Before I left the apartment I forgot to check with the ONE who had the true forecast.) The doctors had to put him back on two IV drips for his blood pressure and he was back on the ventilator. He barely opened his eyes all day. When the doctor changed his IV location, it took a long time for the old site to quit bleeding. Every time he released pressure I could hear him say this isn't good. I knelt at the head of Ken's bed, trying to keep HIM calm and relaxed, while my mind was full of WHAT NEXT. Platelets were given and he had to be given a unit of blood.

Yesterday when it was sunny it was VERY SUNNY. A couple from our Sunday school class was in the DC area and drove here to see us. The Lord knew I needed lots of hugs this week and He provided. As I stood looking out the window I heard Gregg's voice behind me and then there were hugs. Robyn gives the best hugs. BLESSING - WHAT A BLESSING. I woke Ken up and I know he was glad to see them. He loves to talk to Gregg about business and he loves to pick on Robyn. I just wish it had been a better day for him. He was able to stay awake for maybe five minutes. It was so nice to enjoy being in the sunshine as we walked and then ate lunch in the outside seating area of the restaurant. Seeing someone from home almost gives you a sense of normality.

I continue to enjoy Sharon being here. For those of you who know her - you can't help but feel better when she is around. Just being around someone who has known you for 39 years brings a level of comfort that I was truly in need of. She understands what I am going through better than anyone else I know. After years of living with her husbands illness, he passed away last year while waiting for a kidney transplant.

One of the devotions I read this week had to do with being called to a life of Thankfulness.

I want all your moments to be punctuated with thanksgiving. The basis for your gratitude is My sovereignty. I am the Creator and Controller of the universe. Heaven and earth are filled with My glorious Presence.

When you criticize or complain, you are acting as if you think you could run the world better than I do. From your limited human perspective, it may look as if I'm mismanaging things. But you don't know what I know or see what I see. If I pulled back the curtain to allow you to view heavenly realms, you would understand much more. However, I have designed you to walk by faith, not by sight. I lovingly shield you from knowing the future or seeing into the spirit world. Acknowledge my sovereignty by giving thanks in all circumstances.

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

This week would you pray for me that I continue to have the faith to accept God's plan and to be thankful for each moment of the day. 1) Please pray that Ken's body would grow stronger and that there will be no sign of any infection. 2) He would be able to breath without the assistance of the ventilator. 3) The wounds on his body would heal without complications. 4) His blood pressure would stay up so the IVs can be discontinued. 5) The function of his kidney's would be protected and return . 6) His body would tolerate the removal of fluid. 7) My visit with Sharon would continue to minister to my body, heart and soul. If you are one of the many who worry about me eating right - she cooks 'real good' with the groceries she had to help carry from the store. 8) A safe trip for her as she goes back to Texas on Wednesday.

THE HEALING POWER IN SEEING A FRIEND

HAPPY FRIDAY TO YOU!!!!! I can hardly believe it. The occupational therapist was asking Ken if he knew what day it was this morning. He replied "Thursday" (I was cheering inside - he got it right) and then she said it was "Friday" --Ohhhhhhhh, I got it wrong too. Where did that other day go. Visitors coming in the middle of the week must have thrown us off -- that's OK, we'll take the VISITORS ANY DAY!!!!! Larry left last night and it was not easy to see him head off. Sharon has already learned about buying groceries without a car - I wasted no time in putting her legs to work. Go ahead and pray for her since she doesn't leave until Wednesday morning.

Today has been a day of exciting news!! Ken has been on the trach collar since 8:30 this morning. He is getting tired and we are not using the speaking valve since that uses so much oxygen and energy. He was up in the chair for a couple of hours this afternoon and was definitely wanting back in bed - I think in part the chair is not as comfortable. His body is definitely a little bony in places without so much fluid being on board. There was a little bit of a problem with his blood pressure for awhile but it eventually leveled out.

The tube feedings were started back up this morning and the IV nourishment has been stopped. That means less fluid going in and less having to come off later. It looks like all of the chest tubes may be coming out tomorrow which will be great in so many ways. They are hoping that if numbers stay up the dialysis will only have to be done every other day or at least not on a continuous basis.The doctors are all so pleased with his progress today. Smiles all around and I think some were even doing a little dance (inside) - I know I was!!

Ken is tired for sure but his spirits and will power seem a little stronger today. He definitely enjoyed Larry being here. Today he was wanting Sharon to tell him some stories and she said she would and could put him to sleep and she did. Nothing like a visit from a friend!!!!

We just ask you to pray for 1) A restful and calm weekend for Ken. 2) He will continue to get stronger with his breathing. 3) Infections will be a STRANGER to his body. 4) PRAISE - the third biopsy was negative for rejection. 5) Wounds he has will heal quickly. 6) Protection for Sharon and I as we walk the streets - the weather is gorgeous!!

After all these weeks, it is still hard to express just how thankful I am for everything you all do. People ask me if we need anything or what my needs are - NEED only prayer. Everything else you do is icing on the cake. All of the cards, care packages and love offerings bring smiles, laughs, joy and even tears of gratitude. THANK YOU - as always from the bottom of my HEART!!!

NEVER THINK YOU KNOW WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW

Confused? Me Too!! Ken did go for right heart cath and heart biopsy - everything went well. So much for getting every one's time tables to work out though. The surgeon who was to do the fistula decided not to put Ken through another procedure and also allow a few more days to remove fluid. The fistula will be in Ken's arm as a permanent access for dialysis. They plan to use a special tubing instead of grafting with his veins so there will be immediate access.

Here it is Tuesday and now they want to do a Doppler study on his arms to get a better look at where to place the fistula. The machine and it's operator showed up but it was then decided that a different machine and two operators were needed. We will see when and if they show up. You never can stick to a schedule - it can change at any moment.

SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE!!!! Ken had a special treat this morning when his buddy, Larry, showed up in his room. It was the best dose of medicine he will receive all day! Hopefully, Ken will be off the ventilator and actually be able to speak with voice before Larry's flight tomorrow night. Larry does not posses the lip reading skills required for a fast paced conversation either. Oh well - just knowing he is here is enough for Ken. Sometimes you don't need a lot of words. It was great for me as well. He came to the apartment last night claiming to be a pack mule baring items from the home front. HUGS were definitely the best thing he brought.

Prayer needs today are: 1) Continue to remove fluid. 2) The Doppler test will be run and have clear mapping for putting in the fistula tomorrow. 3) Ken and Larry will continue to have a good visit. Ken will remain coherent. 4) Our friend Sharon will arrive safely and the visit will be just what the doctor ordered -- I'm sure it will be.

I will update soon - THANKS AS ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!

TUESDAY PRAYER NEEDS

• What I thought was going to be a relatively quiet day just turned into a whirl of activity. The doctor and his staff from the cath lab came in a little bit ago, loaded Ken's bed up with all of the traveling gear and headed out to do a right heart cath as well as his third heart biopsy. They are hoping that the time table works out with the O.R. that he could go directly from the cath lab to have a fistula put in his arm for the dialysis. I will explain that later but it should be about a one to two hour procedure in the O.R. Please pray that all goes well in all proceedings and also in the traveling time. For the doctors and staff to be clear minded and on top of all their activities, and for calmness of Ken's spirit, mind and body. I will update later as information is known. Thank you.

CLEARING UP SOME DETAILS

WHAT A WEEK!!!!!!!!!! There was some confusion with details in my last entry. I apologize; should have waited until I WAS MORE COHERENT to send it out. I am happy to report that Ken is better right now. At this point in the testing, there is no evidence of a stroke. They have not run the EEG to to check for possible seizures but still plan to do so. They really do not think Ken had one, but they will to this study and then at least have a bench mark for future use. Friday, he was coherent but occasionally made a comment that would indicate his reality was still a little off. Yesterday he was coherent but was very tired, probably due in large part to the removal of fluid, and still from the events of the week.

He was able to get some sleep Thursday, DRUG INDUCED, while they were conducting the procedure to find out if the last surgery had corrected the problem it was meant to. We are still waiting for the results. Ken had so much fluid in his body it took a lot longer for the dye to run its course. He had to be taken back to the lab that night and then again Friday morning, for images of what the dye was finding. The man has been putting some miles on his BED lately.

I keep telling him he cannot say anything about what I pack for a trip anymore. Every time he leaves this room, he travels with his machines and a complete entourage. It is quite a sight to see; putting everything into a portable mode for "traveling". There are so many boxes and monitors placed wherever they can on the end of the bed, and then you have the IV pole as well as the ventilator and at least three people. On Wednesday night, when they could not find a pulse coming back from the CT lab, it was because of the traveling monitor. I am so grateful that was all it was.

Our Sunday school class sent an Easter basket, as you recall, which held a small devotional book, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. It is written in first person - Jesus talking to you. I have heard all my life, God will not give you more than you can handle. Since February, 22 there has been nothing I could do but wait day to day - sometimes hour to hour - for Ken's healing. We went from knowing what our "time table" and "to do list" for going home consisted of, to NOT A CLUE. You can be sure I provided a road map and calendar clearly marked for God's reference, but He hasn't used them. Friday morning, the daily devotion was entitled, "THIS IS THE DAY THAT I HAVE MADE". I knew and believed that - but what hit me between the eyes was this: "To find Joy in this day, you must live within its boundaries. I knew what I was doing when I divided time into twenty-four-hour segments. I understand human frailty, and I know that you can bear the weight of only one day at a time. Do not worry about tomorrow or get stuck in the past. There is abundant life in My Presence today." I finally realized, God was not giving me more than I could handle for that day - one day!!

After the conversations I had with Hannah and with my friend Cher (who has been here), I realized that when I say something like "Ken is doing so much better today" that our reference point is probably not the same. In the ICU you celebrate every little victory as if it were a Home Run. So today's victory may be Ken was able to raise his hand up off the pillow and that is progress - that is a good day for us. With that being said - Ken had a great day Saturday!!! There was such a difference in the amount of fluid that had come off his body during the night, I could not believe my eyes. That is what we have been waiting for. The fluid has to come off for there to be progress in so many other areas. I can't wait to see him this morning.

This last week started out good - had such a scary middle - and then ended Great! Besides the victory of fluid removal, God sent another angel, one of the pastors from our church. It was so good to look up and see him standing there. A hug from home!! Ken was glad to see him too. John and I walked down to the inner harbor and got a bite to eat and enjoyed the weather while Ken slept a little. When we got back Ken was awake and John read scripture, letting God speak to every part of our body. He told us we would have church this morning - I can't wait. What a blessing - GOD IS SO GOOD!!

The prayer request for now are: 1) Continued removal of excess fluid. 2) Lungs to continue to heal so the ventilator can come back off. 3) Time and the test will continue to show there is no evidence of a stoke or seizure. 4) They will be able to step up Ken's nourishment. 5) That his kidneys will be able to function again. 6) That I will truly take one day at a time with each aspect of my life. 7) That Ken will feel more comfortable without me being in the room so that I can enjoy a visit this week, with a friend coming in from Texas. I truly need the renewal that comes from some "girl friend time".

As always I praise God Almighty From Whom All Blessings Flow, for your continued prayers, cards, calls, e-mails and love offerings. Have a Blessed Sunday.


PS: The untitled entry below was a mistake - probably lack of sleep. I didn't want to delete it since there were comments. I know some people were worried that I didn't finish it, thinking something had happened.

A QUICK REPORT AND PRAYER REQUEST

Monday and Tuesday of this week were very positive for physical progress. Although Ken was still on the ventilator, we communicated quite well and talked about going home and all the different things we wanted to do. He was ready to look at pictures of Jack, and so we did that and shared them with the nurse as well. He even made a little joke and had that mischievous look in his eyes a couple of times. Tuesday afternoon they were able to put in the new line for the dialysis without any problem. When he woke up on Tuesday morning that was the last time he has slept. Yesterday morning the nurse called me at home to let me know he had not slept all night and had a lot of anxiety. When I got here he was wide awake with no intention of going to sleep. What he was saying did not make any sense. He didn't think he was breathing very well so respitory therapy checked out and cleaned up the trach. He is coughing up a lot of stuff from his lungs and they suctioned him out several different ways.

The day went down hill fast from that point. He was exhausted, you could tell, and he even said so but any closing of the eyelids was not going to happen. As the afternoon went on his behaviour got stranger. His nurse had been reporting his behavior to the staff all day. It finally got to the point he did not even know who I was. The next thing I knew they were running off to get a CT scan of his head. I stayed in the room waiting since they were not going to be gone very long. The next thing I knew there was a call over the intercom for help and then his bed came rolling in with someone at every possible sight next to it. There were a couple of nurses who took me down the hall to a waiting area. It was not long before I was able to go back in. While transporting him back from the CT his pulse was not detected and he was not responding at first. Once they had him back on the monitors in the room everything showed ok but he was still not responding, just staring at the ceiling. I was about to go back to the apartment when I said one last thing to him and he suddenly turned is head to me and communicated.

I have been here at the hospital all night trying to get him to go to sleep. There was a neurological doctor who came around last night and then again this morning. They are going to run a brain wave test to see if there is any sign of seizures. The CT scan showed no definite sign of a stroke.

All of his numbers as far as blood pressure and oxygen are good and they are able to remove some fluid from his body. Please pray that all of that will remain good and that the test on the brain waves will be clear and accurate. Also that those heavy eyelids will close and he will get some much needed sleep.

I think right now I will try to get some sleep myself. I will update later with the latest results.

Thank you for holding us up today.

UPDATE

Sorry I am late in getting this out. I have not been able to get the Internet until now. The new line is in and Ken is back on dialysis. There were problems getting his feeding tube back in last night and he has not slept at all since he woke up yesterday morning. Not sure what is going on but hopefully he will sleep soon. I know you will pray and will try and update again soon.

NEW LINE GOING IN

Please pray as we are heading down to get the new line put in for the dialysis. It is going to be put up in the chest area again. Just pray for steadiness of the hands and clarity of eyes doing the procedure.

MEET THE TIN MAN

For those of you who have not met THE TIN MAN-
allow me to introduce you. This is Ken. This picture was taken here in Baltimore after he was released from the hospital in January. We were out walking around getting familiar with our new surroundings. It also gave us the chance to let him build up some strength and stamina. For the past several years, just about anytime you saw Ken, he had on one of his many "Life Is Good" caps. That is what the L I G stands for on this cap.

Ken had a massive heart attack back in 1997. He had two by-pass surgeries after that and always had an implanted defibrillator. Most people never knew he was sick, or at least as sick as he was. The doctors would walk in the door and say you don't look like the man I am reading about in this chart. After his last by-pass surgery in 2006, we were living in an apartment while in the middle of down-sizing. We walked out one Sunday morning heading for church when a lady in the parking lot asked him if he could help put this big ice chest in her car. I jumped in and said I'll be glad to help you - he can't lift, he just had by-pass surgery. She was so surprised. Ken has always been embarrassed having to let others lift things as he stood by - especially women. People expect you to look sick if you can't do something.

Today has been the best day this week. Ken has been alert and has even been watching some TV. Physical Therapy was able to get him up on the tilt table to 35 degrees. His blood pressure stayed fairly stable, but he is still on the medication to keep it up. He had a procedure done to look at the function of the heart and we are now waiting for a CAT-scan to be run. They want to check out the amount of fluid around his lungs. The doctors are still looking for the source of infection now going on. We are praying for a restful and healing weekend. Please continue to pray for those request listed below.

It is amazing that so many of you have never met Ken, but you pray for him so faithfully. THANK YOU!!!

A VERY HARD WEEK - PRAYERS NEEDED

It is Thursday. This week has not been the week I was so hoping for. Sunday, when Hannah left, things were starting to look up a little. Ken was more alert than he had been and was back on the trach collar which meant he was able to talk again. He and Hannah had the chance to visit a little, but it was very tiring on him. When I left for the evening, he was still off of the ventilator, and I was so excited about the new week and thoughts of his progress moving forward.

Monday morning - not at all what I wanted to see. Ken was back on the ventilator. This time it was not just an assist setting, but it was doing the work. He was taken for a CAT-scan to check out the situation with his intestine and the doctor reported it was ok to start back up the feedings. The tube they used for his feedings had to be replaced and then they restarted with a very slow rate to be increased gradually. For reasons unknown Ken did not sleep at all on Monday night.

Tuesday, Ken was trying desperately to communicate with me, but the process was frustrating him because it would take me so many tries to finally understand. Sometimes I never could. He had very little sleep all day. His eyes would close for maybe a few minutes and then they would open right back up. Several times he told me and the nurse some bizarre things he was seeing. She said some of his levels were a little low and maybe that was the cause. Tuesday night a little sleep, yet still nothing significant.

Wednesday, still very little sleep and very lethargic. You had to really call his name out loudly for him to look at you and then he may or may not respond. PT came by and transferred Ken over to a tilt table which allowed him out of bed as well as trying to keep him straight on what is 'laying down' and 'up right'. His blood pressure dropped when they first raised him up. It was only a 10 degrees tilt. The blood pressure straighten out on its own but when they went up the next 10 degrees he was having trouble with his breathing so they lowered him down and put him back in bed. The doctors taking care of infections came in to check Ken out and said the blood infection had responded to the antibiotics and it was not showing up anymore; however, his white cell count is increasing again. They have put him back on antibiotics that cover a wide spectrum of infections and once again cultures of everything they can get there hands on are being run. The dialysis has been filtering the blood but when they start removing fluid there is still a problem with his blood pressure. His sheets, gown, pillows and anything else that touches his skin has to be constantly changed because fluid close to the skin is coming out wherever it can. By the afternoon he was not as lethargic but was having a little more trouble breathing. Since they had put him back on the medication to help keep his blood pressure from dropping, I asked them to please give him something so he could sleep for the night.

Here it is Thursday. When I first saw Ken he was having extreme difficulty breathing. Respiratory therapy worked with the ventilator and did their dialing and changing numbers and finally got him to an easier state. The nurse tried to start removing fluid this morning but the blood pressure dropped so it just went back to filtering. The infection doctor came in and checked Ken out and there are not any positive results back from any cultures but that usually takes 24 to 48 hours for any results. The doctor is concerned about phenomena and wants another culture run on secretions from his lungs. The wide spectrum of antibiotics being given at this time will hopefully work until the source of infection is found. Tube feedings are going to be changed to a more concentrated type so there is not as much fluid going in. Once again the word "BALANCE" is used and needed. It seems to me, the fluid has to come off for there to be any significant change.

Please pray for: 1)The source of infection to be found and treatable. 2)The fluid needs to be removed. 3)The lungs need to be healed. 4)Ken needs to get some healing and restful sleep. 5)The feedings to provide the nutrition needed without adding to the excess fluid. 6)The last surgery done would continue to be successful as the tube feedings are increased. 7)Both he and I would remain positive and not discouraged.

As I said earlier it has been a hard week and not the one I had hoped for, or even saw coming. I came back to the apartment this afternoon to get a bite to eat and fell asleep on the couch. Guess my body was trying to tell me something. I called back up to the hospital to see how Ken was doing and the nurse said he was still asleep. They gave him a second unit of blood and they were finally able to start removing fluid.

Tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities!!